Ego: Gentle Friend, Combative Foe

Not so long ago I stumbled upon two people feeling misunderstood about an issue that started innocently enough but ended in a road block. I quickly go drawn into the conversation. The resolution seemed fairly uncomplicated to my way of thinking; once both parties understood the needs and circumstances surrounding the issue they would gladly come on board.

What seemed uncomplicated and straightforward quickly became complex and divisive. I noticed that I was taking sides and had become angry and defensive.   Interior peace was replaced with indignation. Relationships became emotionally charged. Distance replaced easy companionship and my energy was dissipated.

What originally was a question now became a dispute, and my false self was in control. It was at this point that I stepped back, acknowledged my feelings which were firing on all cylinders, and were influencing other unrelated situations. I was not at peace.

My true self, my gentle and undivided self, began to exert itself. I took some deep breaths, sat quietly and listened to my heart. In this peaceful environment I faced myself, and my need to be right, became aware of the pain/distress I was causing others and a deep down desire for healing.

I quickly regained peace of heart and a longing to make amends with those I had hurt and distanced myself. At this point my true self, my ego, led me on a path of peace and reconciliation.

My question: when will I ever learn?

Ann Marshall CSJ

View from the Window - Anticipating Advent

We have awakened to a new world

One of pristine glory and loveliness

The trees have put on their wedding garment –

Anticipating a sober and solemn Advent.

Content to brave the winds of change

The frost, the snow, the hail, the darkness

Hope comes again in its own time

For Nature – Spring – For us the Parousia

Sr. Eileen Foran

I am what I am because of who we are together.

Today, October 19th is Mission Sunday in the church. It calls us to think more globally and maybe even for a few moments insert ourselves into the lives of our brothers and sisters around the world.

When I was approaching 60 years of age, I knew that something was stirring inside which I had to pay attention to. I believed that I was being called to something more!!!! I wanted to go to the edge and make a difference. I felt if I did not respond to this intuitive feeling it may never happen again.

Not knowing what this call to the more really meant I began to pray with a favorite passage of scripture from Jeremiah. “I know the plans I have in mind for you – plans for peace not disaster – building a future full of hope and then I waited for clarity.

I was led to Scarboro Missions and missioned to join the team in Malawi, located in Central Africa. My ministry was at St. Peter’s secondary school teaching life skills and social studies. I went to the missions with great energy and fervor and I was going to change the world. But it was I who was changed!!!

As a high extrovert, it was easy to become immersed in the life of the students and staff at the school and I found it very life-giving. Of course the teaching was a challenge since I was not a teacher by profession but I managed – and the students even passed!!!!     

In preparing this article, I came across an African proverb that I want to share with you -

“The African world is about our living as one family, belonging to God.” And, it goes on to say “I am because we are.”

Family is the central point of life for the Malawian people and their deep faith and trust in God to provide for them is such a strong reality. Given the many hardships they face on a daily basis their deep faith in this God they love is so profound that I was often left speechless. They too have hopes of a better life for their families, dreams of education for their children and longings for a more just distribution of the world’s resources.

Many families struggle to find school fees for their children so they can attend school as there is a belief that the only way out of poverty is to have an education. Students walked miles to attend school and often came without anything for lunch.

I found myself watching the kids to see if I could figure out why they were so happy with so little. I saw their joy expressed as they chatted together or worked on a mathematics problem or were playing on the soccer field. I learned that a simple expression of joy can lift the spirits of everyone. 

I was humbled when some students who were living with me would suggest that we pray together and share about a passage of scripture. Their relationship with God was personal and alive and I learned a lot from these young people.

The longer that I lived with and among the Malawian people I grew in my own awareness that is was not about what I was doing in ministry but is was about how I was being in relationship with all those who came into my life.

It was my opportunity to meet God within the other and there was always time ‘to loiter with intention’. Life is lived at a slower pace and I certainly came to like this way of going about my day.

As I reflect on my experience in Malawi, one of the things that became quite clear while I was living there is that I grew in my awareness that we are sisters and brothers to each other. This heightened consciousness of solidarity with others different than myself was certainly important for me as I sought out a ministry of meaning here in Windsor. I am currently volunteering at the refugee office and feel at my best when I am chatting with refugees from Palestine, Senegal, Bosnia or Liberia. I know this would not be the case had I not lived within another culture where I was embraced as a sister! (small ‘s’)

Since my return I have often reflected on the words of that African proverb – “I am what I am because of who we are together.” This was a gift of my 6 years with and among the people of Malawi…and my prayer is that this new consciousness will carry me into the remaining days of my life.

In closing, I would like to invite you to go to that place within where God dwells and listen again to these words from Jeremiah:

“I know the plans I have in mind for you –– plans for peace, not disaster, reserving a future full of hope for you. Then when you call to me and come to plead with me, I will listen to you. When you seek me you shall find me. When you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me…..it is Yahweh who speaks.”

Ann MacDonald, CSJ

Sammy Squirrel and Benjamin Bunny

During my time at the lake house, I had a lot of opportunity to observe Sammy and Benjamin. They both were out and about most mornings and early evenings. They did not bother with each other even though they occupied the same grassy area. (Well maybe the occasional glance.) Sammy rushed about stopping and working furiously to stuff his cheeks with seeds from the maple keys. Benjamin on the other hand casually savoured a blade of grass. Both had their ears perked for the sound of an approaching enemy. Obviously they had no fear of one another.

This peaceful scene made me think about our world situation today. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if countries could so peacefully exist, occupying common ground (earth), but respecting one another’s values? Some of us are squirrels and others bunnies (as in rabbits). This observation applies personally, as well as worldwide. It takes all kinds to make the world go round.

We can’t help but be aware of the many catastrophes taking place on an hourly bases. We shutter at the brutality. 

Now back to our own small worlds. How do we exert brutality on ourselves and on others? Do I put myself down? Do I do it to others? Usually in a small way – not really meaning to.

Let’s learn from Sammy and Benjamin – enjoy your space but be willing to share. “It’s a small world after all.”

Barbara Vaughan, CSJ

… in the Midst of Upheaval

This year, Thanksgiving occurs in the midst of many challenges. The world is saturated in war. Ebola threatens to invade not only Africa but the USA and Canada. Work is scarce and poverty continues to increase the disparity between the rich and poor. Heavy rain pelting the window confirms my fear that the late growing crops will not be harvested this fall.

What is one to do in the face of all this bad news? One might be tempted to play Job and curse one’s fate. However, my morning walks confirm that the sun’s healing rays still shine on us. Beauty surrounds us on every side. Crisp fall mornings lighten my spirit. Bright autumn flowers and the magnificent neon reds and oranges of trees are a feast for the eyes. Happy children wait for the school bus watched by attentive parents.

In the wider world, the United Nations is hammering out a new global agreement on reducing carbon emissions. We teeter on the cusp of a global transition to a new safe energy economy. New attempts are being made to redirect locating new fossil fuel deposits to exploring new safe energy initiatives. Young Emma Watson of Harry Potter fame recently addressed the UN to endorse the “Heforshe” initiative for gender equality.

Year after year, Thanksgiving reminds us of the good gifts God brings in spite of massive turmoil. In the haunting words of “Desiderata”, the poet Max Ehrmann reminds us: “With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.” Happy Thanksgiving.

Jean Moylan, CSJ