A father’s presence is more important that a father’s provision.
-PAUL STROZIER
The Absent Father
Being from a single parent family was never a claim I made. However, my knowledge from a very young age was that my father had died at 57 from a medical emergency that is immediately addressed today and known as a “strangulated hernia”. Many were the times I would ask Mom why Dad died and always it was this same answer.
Dad and me.
Writing now about Father’s Day still stirs loss even with his longstanding absence. Yes, there are several memories I treasure. Children appear to handle trauma well, but do we really? All of us come to know suffering, loss and separation at the beginning of life and learn that nothing in life is permanent but hope to the contrary, that it was. We know many separations along our journey. Yet, there is a more current view that tells us separation is an illusion and that “we are all “One”. I find the idea of “oneness” comforting and resonate more with belief that dad and I are now connected, both in body and spirit.
Integrating the experience of death into my 4 yr. old self, did not always come easy as I keenly remember Dad was my idol, my love, my hero. I hated saying he was dead because a following conversation then seemed flat, there was nothing more to say. As an example, I was walking home from school one day with another 6 yr. old girl, when she soon asked me, “What does your father do?” I said I did not have a father, that he was dead. Immediately I did not like the sound and feeling of those words, so I said, “no that’s not right. That man who died was not my father. My oldest brother is really my father, but we don’t want the neighbours to know”. I knew I was lying and feared my mother might hear this tale I had told, so quickly added, “we don’t want the neighbors to know”, meaning do not repeat this.
Imagination is a creative way to bring joy, let the spirit fly, fantasize. It is also a way to buffer painful life issues for children, adults, all of us, to create a more acceptable story. While thoughts/memories even on this Father’s Day are thin for me, they are more treasured with added years.
Most precious for me are the memories shared about dad, with my mother, when I was very young. In those moments when no one else was around, she would take from her bottom bedroom dresser drawer, a big white box. It contained a white shirt with lots of tiny pleats. Then she would say, “this was your dad’s wedding shirt”. Pausing a while, then she would tenderly lift something else, colourful long, and narrow, and say “these were your dad’s ties”. Those occasional experiences with her helped fill a gap which words lacked.
How can we each make this year Father’s Day a special time to remember Dad, whether he be living or deceased? What about remembering those who have served us as substitutes, (especially mothers) for an absent father. To these substitutes in my life I owe deep gratitude, especially my Mom and oldest brother Francis, who now enjoys eternal rest with my absent, yet ever-present father.
Sister Patricia St Louis, csj
The Perfect Storm
Every time we turn our attention to the news, we hear of one crisis on top of another – rising food prices, cost of gas, gun shootings in several cities in the U.S. and war in Ukraine. Each of these events alone present new challenges, but when they all seem to be happening at the same time, we can feel overwhelmed as we try to emerge from COVID 19. And I have heard several people say they feel depressed and helpless as they we live this reality in one way or the other.
Image: Unsplash/Louis Reed
However, one of the messages coming from the Climate Movement is to remind us that all life is interdependent. When one part of our Beautiful Blue Home thrives, we are all better. The reverse is also true. We also experience the pain and sadness of the effects of climate change, war, and sickness. We are all interconnected and what happens to one also impacts others.
In the past few weeks, I have been working with some wonderful people who have just arrived in Canada after fleeing conflict in their home in the Congo and then living several years in a refugee camp hoping to come to Canada. Their life has not been easy, and they are people filled with hope, gratitude, and love. They are eager to settle, improve their English and find work. Their positive outlook has been a blessing - a kind of visitation from God.
“Sometimes God shows up in our lives in human form and visits us in a way we do not expect.”
Sometimes God shows up in our lives in human form and visits us in a way we do not expect. If we open our minds and hearts to welcome the human face of God, not as I expect it, but as God choses to visit we might discover more wholeness and hope.
Rumi, the poet expresses this so well in the poem called The Guest House. I will offer a few lines…
…This being human is a guest house,
Every morning a new arrival, a joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected guest …
Be grateful for whoever comes because each has been sent as a guide from beyond…
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of furniture, still treat each guest honourably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight… (by Rumi)
-Sister Joan Atkinson, CSJ
Indspire Awards 2022
June was named Indigenous History Month in 2009 while June 21st day has been celebrated as National Indigenous Day since 1996. Indigenous Peoples and Canadians across Turtle Island ( North America) use these designated times to claim the history and heritage of Indigenous Peoples. As descendants of settlers, these annual occasions provide us with an opportunity to acknowledge the Indigenous Peoples’ numerous contributions to shaping the fabric of our country.
On Sunday, June 19th, the Indspire Awards are aired on CBC and ATPN. These prestigious awards confer the highest honour the indigenous community bestows on their own people. After 29 years, 396 First Nations, Inuit and Métis individuals who have demonstrated outstanding achievement across a broad spectrum of society have been so honoured. The broadcast on this Sunday at 8 p.m. once again will showcase a variety of their personal and professional stories.
Having watched the award ceremony in previous years, I highly recommend tuning in on Sunday.
-Sister Nancy Wales
Mother Martha
Remembering Mother Martha von Bunning | 1824 – June 13, 1868
In recognition of the 170 years since the Hamilton foundation, I was asked to reflect on why Mother Martha is so significant to the Hamilton sisters. Her story is poignant and instructive, and its meaning is still unfolding. Her story as a Sister of St. Joseph reflects the pascal mystery of death and resurrection. Martha followed in the footsteps of Jesus who died an apparent failure.
We first heard Martha’s story following Vatican 11 when Rome directed all religious congregations to revisit their founding charism. On hearing Martha’s story for the first time there was initial shock, surprise and a sense of embarrassment which gave way to anger/resentment. Remember this was an era of awakening for women containing new truths and insights. We symbolized our support of Martha by the removal of a large picture of the first Bishop of Hamilton, Bishop Farrell, which had been hanging prominently in the Mother House and gifted it to the Chancery Office where it now hangs in the Diocesan library named after him. A more appropriate home for His Grace.
Martha was born in Germany, emigrated to the USA, and entered the Congregation in 1845 at the age of 21. She was missioned from St. Louis Missouri to Toronto and from there to Hamilton in 1852. At 28 Martha was named the superior of the Hamilton community. Martha understood that love is expressed in service of the dear neighbour and readily accepted the challenge of caring for the typhus and cholera victims of arriving immigrants but at a cost of the lives of the sisters. Ten years into the foundation, in 1862, unjustly accused Martha was banished from the community by the Bishop. This resilient and humble woman made a second attempt at reconciliation in 1868 even though her health was failing but was again denied a meeting with the Bishop and made her way to Toronto, walking all the way. The archives are silent on this detail, however, she was warmly received by the Toronto community and died 9 days later.
I said earlier Martha’s story is instructive. She was courageous in responding to unmet needs, resilient in the face of adversity, humble and forgiving in the dark night of unjust condemnation, and uncompromising in living the charism of unity and reconciliation. It seems to me that Martha’s short life reflects our own congregation’s Chapter Statement: Moving with Love and embracing each moment of possibility as a graced path to Transformation. Amen.
-Sister Ann Marshall, csj
Sister Mary reflects below on Sister Ann’s words and the words of Mother Martha herself:
Thank you, Ann. You have expressed very beautifully exactly why we honour Mother Martha today: I quote: “courageous in responding to unmet needs, resilient in the face of adversity, humble and forgiving in the dark night of unjust condemnation, uncompromising in living the charism of unity and reconciliation.”
What more is there to say? I was asked to speak about why all of us, not just Hamilton, honour this woman today. Well, I was having trouble coming up with anything to add to Ann’s wonderful words. So, I asked Mother Martha what I should say, and here is what that very humble woman had to say to me and to all of us:
“My dear Sisters, please don’t celebrate me because of the one very painful experience I had. Rather celebrate the amazing love and providence of God, acting in each moment of our lives to shape and transform us into the image of Jesus. If you must honour me, then do so for God’s action in the ordinary life I lived before that painful time: the many times I moved to new places when I was sent, the way I did my best to adjust and give myself to the ministries that presented themselves: caring for orphans, and immigrants, teaching, care of typhoid and cholera victims, and, of course, leadership. It was God’s grace in my daily life in the years before that shaped within me the strength, resilience, courage and reconciling heart that ultimately allowed me to get through that last and most painful experience. Sisters, this is what each of us does each day. In faith we see all that happens in our lives as allowed by the loving Providence of God, and somehow meant to shape us. It is that day- b-y day fidelity in the small moments and little sufferings of our lives that deepens the well within us, allowing it to be filled, drop by drop, with love for God, love for every kind of neighbour, love that gives itself in service, fidelity and humility that ultimately allows us to forgive and reconcile. Father Medaille urges us, in honour of the Holy Spirit, to become “All Love”. It is precisely in living our daily reality with love and faith that we are gradually transformed by “each moment of possibility” into the living image of Jesus in our life, our world, our reality today. So, dear Sisters, when you honour me, know that you are celebrating yourselves, as each of you is doing exactly what I did, trying to live each day and each moment as a graced moment of transformation into Christ.”
Mother Martha, pray that we may be faithful to this glorious call.
- Sister Mary Diesbourg, csj