World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly

July 24 celebrates the role of grandparents and elderly persons in our world. I solicited the help of three grandmothers and one grandfather to learn more about their experiences as grandparents. What joys did they identify?  How did they, their children, and grandchildren benefit from these relationships? What burdens were involved in being a grandparent?  Did these grandparents have any recommendations or advice to offer first-time grandparents?  

Grandparents take great joy in their relationships with their grandchildren.  A few examples of their comments are:  

• “What a joy when a grandchild [infant] smiles and squeals with delight when they see you.”  

• “I love their phone call or texts to ask how I am or to seek advice.” 

• “It is wonderful to experience your children being parents; you see a new dimension in their personality.” 

• “Playdays and sleep-overs.  We made blanket forts, did dress-ups, had tea parties, and created and performed skits.  We taught them how to cook simple foods.” 

• “My heart is full when they run up to give a hug or hold my hand.” 

My consultants reported many benefits of their roles - for themselves, their children, and their grandchildren. Some of these were: 

• “Being able to pass on family traditions, history and wisdom to grandchildren,” 

• “An opportunity for an enriched life and for being needed as one retires and grows older.” 

• “Being around grandchildren who are thriving offers hope for the future, a lens to observe what is important to a younger generation, an opportunity to see human beings develop from helpless, dependent infants into competent, capable, and well-adjusted young adults.” 

• “Parents receive support of many kinds, such as trusted childcare, babysitting, sick child relief, financial help, and advice when difficulties arise. “ 

The wise grandparents who responded to my request also identified some burdens. For example:  

• One couple noted that when their children have ongoing health issues there exists instability and challenges for the grandchildren.  

• One grandmother stated: “I always worry when grandchildren demonstrate behaviours that are not very healthy”. 

• Another grandmother noted that at times the parents' demands seem excessive, e.g., full-time childcare, financial help, or other matters at a time when one grows older and has less energy.  

• Differing ideas and beliefs about children’s needs, rules, gifts, and routines within the imperative of respecting parents’ wishes can be a source of distress.  

• It is difficult to create bonds with grandchildren who live in other cities. 

And yet, despite difficulties and burdens, one grandmother commented: “The gift of grandchildren surpasses any negative experiences.  I always feel blessed to have them.” 

Some additional comments & advice from the Grandparents:

• Respect the parents’ wishes 

• Love your grandchildren 

• Model honest, open communication. Foster compassion and forgiveness in relationships.  

• Provide experiences to grandchildren in place of material gifts 

• Contribute to or open a Registered Educational Savings Plan (RESP) for the grandchildren.  These are lasting gifts!

• Fair and equal are not the same thing; some grandchildren or their parents may need more support than others.  

The heart-warming responses from grandparents illustrate their importance in our society.  We need to acknowledge their contributions to the health and welfare of our children.

May all of us, on July 24 - and all year, honour the grandparents and elderly people who pass on love and wisdom to the next generation.  

-Sister Patricia McKeon, csj

Let's Celebrate, eh!

HAPPY CANADA DAY!

School is out!  Now we can review what we have learned.  It’s holiday time!

Image: Chi Liu @chiditty/Unsplash

We begin by viewing our country—Canada. 

We’ve learned that we are a country that values its freedom and when we look around the world at wars and totalitarian regimes, we get a sense of how fragile freedom is.

We’ve learned that our land produces enough food to feed Canadians as well as provide for other countries, yet we are not encouraging youth to farm and are paving over more and more prime farmland every year.

We’ve learned that we provide education for all our children, yet we see rising in our society, more and more bullying, violence, suicide, mental illness and addictions especially among young people.

We’ve learned that a sense of belonging is what each person craves.

We’ve learned that we are dependent on nature. Plants and animals, the four seasons provide for our very existence, and we are learning, and need to learn more, how to dance together in harmony.

We are aware. We have attitude. We need action.

HAPPY CANADA DAY - LET’S CELEBRATE, EH!                                      

- Sister Elaine Cole, CSJ                                                    

Image: Hermes Rivera @hermez777/Unsplash

Genocide in Canada?

Genocide in Canada? NEVER!!!

Celebrating National Indigenous Peoples Day in Canada

The news has been inundated with the realities of genocides all over the world, but rarely is Canada included in that list.  A little dose of TRUTH is in order to get a proper perspective.

Prior to the European arrival, millions of various tribes existed across Turtle Island with their system of bartering, governing that worked for them.

Columbus’ “discovery” of the land, was affirmed by Pope Alexander VI in 1493, when he issued the infamous “Doctrine of Discovery” that stated that empty lands “terra nullius” “discovered by European Explorers, became the property of the Crown.  In fact, these lands were inhabited by millions of peoples comprising one fifth of the world’s population at that time. They just happened to be non-Christian and were therefore deemed to be uncivilized and hence the term “terra nullius” or empty lands.

The mentality incurred by the Doctrine of Discovery paved the way for our Indigenous peoples to be horrifically treated due to the policies of the First Prime Minister of Canada by establishing the Residential School system which was specifically launched “to get rid of the Indian problem” and prevailed from the 1870’s to the 1990’s in which more than 130 Residential Schools were established and run by many of our churches.

The “savages”, a term used by Duncan Campbell Scott, were deemed to be subhuman (Indian Act in a plain-language summary). Colonizers attempted to assimilate them into European culture through the residential School System and by the 60’s Scoop when the children were ‘scooped up” and placed into European settler homes. It is estimated that there were even more Indigenous children in the child welfare system than the 150,00 that were in Residential Schools.

The past Chair of the TRC, the Honourable Murray Sinclair’s words ring so true for today:

“it is education that got us into this mess, and it is education that will get us out of it.”

One of the first steps to “getting us out of this mess” was the submission of the TRC 94 Calls to Action 94 Recommendations of the TRC report of 2015. It was carefully drawn up after the Commissioners interviewed thousands of abused survivors and it is estimated that 6000+ died in residential schools.  This is a significant number. This is a genocide. Truly the darkest part of our Canadian history.

Perhaps this is best summed up by Connor Sarazin in the June Kairos times Newsletter:

“Over the course of history there have been acts of genocide from one nation over another on a global scale. Although, you may not see the struggles of Indigenous Peoples regularly on the nightly news. The Indigenous Peoples remain in a fight for their survival. Many communities don’t have running water, never mind being drinkable. Many communities don’t have hydro and rely upon diesel generators for power. Children must travel hundreds of miles away from their home and community to get a high school education, and there are more children in care than at the height of the Indian Residential Schools. It is an alarming rate of epidemic proportions that women, girls and 2Spirit Peoples are murdered and go missing every day. It is easier to erase a people when they have no women.

Words like genocide are used to describe other nations around the globe who are fighting for their survival. We tend to forget that the struggle for the First Peoples on our own land carry these same words and have so for hundreds of years.”

On June 21, National Indigenous Peoples Day, may we recognize and celebrate the history, heritage, resilience and diversity of First Nations, Inuit and Métis across Canada.

-Sister Kathleen Lichti, CSJ

Happy Father's Day

I look forward to Father’s Day every year.  It gives me time to think about the role of father in our lives and the influence that each father has on laying the groundwork for his children in a myriad of ways that will guide them throughout their lives.

Of course, as an example, I turn to thoughts of my own beloved father, now long deceased, and the influence he had on my life and on my siblings.  Dad and the other men who I knew as I grew up, cemented my perception and belief of what a father should be.  Later in life, I learned that not all fathers were kind and loving as were those during my childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood.  A lack of good male role models can leave its mark on children who suffer from lack of self-esteem, addictions, and a host of other maladies that may be carried through life.  

From my earliest years, I knew my father as a kind, gentle, and patient dad.  He loved my mother deeply and expressed it in daily acts of kindness.  He insisted that we show her love, honor, and obedience.  We also learned to respect our elders, and those who visited us in our happy, faith-filled home.

Throughout my childhood, I observed my father teaching by example.  We saw his daily cordial conduct, gentle politeness, easy neighbourliness, and the careful dance of when to act and when to desist.

As the years passed and we grew up and took our place in society, new generations arrived.  I watch my brothers in action. They treat their wives and children with the same patience, love and kindness that my father portrayed.  Suddenly, in this new millennium, another generation, tall and strong, is on the horizon.  These lads also exhibit the traits that have been handed down from the generations of our fine forefathers.

How appropriate it is to set aside one special Sunday a year to honor hardworking, fine men who bear the name of Father – or just plain, wonderful DAD.

-Sister Jean Moylan, CSJ

Images: Steve DiMatteo | Unsplash

On the Road Again

I heard a tagline aired recently in a Fountain Tire commercial: “We’re on this road together.” Are we not more deeply aware that we are travelling on the road of life together? Hourly, we witness in TV-land multiple local, national, and global realities. However, we often experience ourselves as restless travel companions. Frequently, I hear my table companions utter, “I can’t watch the news anymore.” On CPAN, we witness our politicians acting childishly. Oftentimes, we hear truth substituted by lies and half- truths.

Amid the continual global chaos and evolving crises, we struggle with the temptation to pull over and stop. We easily identify with the words penned by the novelist, Oliver Goldsmith,

“Life is a journey that must be traveled no matter how bad the roads and accommodations.”

Perhaps the words of Dag Hammarskjöld set the course for an authentic response to the bombardments of the daily newscasts.

The brilliant diplomat succinctly captures where we discover ourselves wandering. In seven, ordinary words,  Hammarskjold profoundly states, “The longest journey is the journey inwards.”

As virtual and emotional globetrotters, bereft of modes of travel, we are left to our own devices. We soon discover ourselves pulled into an inner soul quest. Part of my daily soul quest is to set aside quiet time for dedicated soul searching where I can seek to untangle my thoughts and feelings. This quiet time of self reflection allows me to avoid the temptation to pull over and stop. Instead, I am in a better position, if challenged,  to give as Peter says, “a reason for my hope.” (Peter 3:15)

On the road again
I just can't wait to get on the road again
The life I love is making music with my friends
And I can't wait to get on the road again  -Willie Nelson

by Sister Nancy Wales, CSJ

Header Image: Matt Foxx @foxxmd/Unsplash