Becoming a Dad changes you - completely.
It’s miraculous, really.
The hardest part? Being there. And I don’t mean showing up, I mean being present. Fatherhood really hammers home the difference. It helps you realize how much you unknowingly phoned in important parts of your life — work, volunteerism and the friendships that matter.
Being a good dad is hard.
Everything gets hyper-focused. But focused doesn’t always mean easy. A selfish to selfless transition is a turbulent one. Even with a life partner that makes Wonder Woman look dazed and confused. (Thx love! xoxoxoxo)
Over time you settle in. You wise up (sometimes). You start to calibrate your parental antenna to some universal truths about advice for your kids in this modern age.
Like:
- curiosity and creativity are more important than any string of characters at the end of an email signature;
- report cards influence life outcomes far less than we give them credit for;
- the most valuable people in this world don’t do what they’re told, they tell the leaders what should be done;
- happiness has little if anything to do with material possession (especially in the long term);
- you never need as much stuff as you think you do;
- And perhaps most importantly, that you should never watch In the Night Garden, no matter how much your kids beg. ‘Cause some things, you just can’t un-see.
And on and on…
But the best thing about father’s day is being home with your kids, and loving them.
Of all the things that make up the foundational pieces of our lives, family is by far the most important.
You can tell a lot about a man by how he holds himself as a father.
I didn’t get a chance to spend as much time with my Father as I would have liked. He worked morning, afternoon and night shifts, 10,000 feet underground, for 30 years, so I would never have to.
The bottom line
I’ve got more from my kids, Molly (5), Cooper (8) than I can ever give back in a life time.
I worry less these days about them not listening and realize I need to worry more that they’re always listening. And that parenting with purpose is something you practice, not something you perfect.
It’s about making a conscious effort to create a more profound relationship with the people that you love.
Everything else, I think, will fall into place.
Guest Blogger Jeff Sage
Jeff Sage is a Senior Strategist and Co-Founder at sagecomm, a London-based strategic marketing firm specializing in brand, product and cause positioning for brands across North America.