Presence, Grace, and Gift

Sean came to live with me in late December 2020. His mother passed away about 9 years ago when she was 45 years old due to complications from juvenile diabetes. Prior to that, Sean lived with his step-father in Chatham.

Sean is 35 years old and has Cerebral Palsy and is on the spectrum for autism.  Sean functions cognitively around the age of 8-10 years old.

I went to pick up Sean to come live with me on Dec 24, 2020 following the death of his step-dad from pneumonia. Sean’s only sibling passed away suddenly a few years ago at the age of 32, which left Sean with no immediate family except a grandma and grandpa who are elderly and unable to have Sean live with them.  Sean is not able to live alone due to his cognitive abilities. Sean’s biological father is “not in the picture”.

Sean has taught and continues to teach and remind me of so many priceless and valuable life lessons.  For example, Sean is simple and simply lives in the present moment. He doesn’t worry or have anxieties: he simply lives in the present moment.  When his mother, brother, and step-dad passed away, Sean would say that “they are in heaven now watching over us”.

If you ask Sean today, he would say that he is living his best life through God’s grace. He loves camp and loves to help out.  I am convinced an angel, the Holy Spirit, all of the above was looking out for Sean as he immediately landed a volunteer position at an overnight camp where he works in the kitchen. He gets to stay overnight in a cabin he shares with other staff members. The staff are so good to him, they include Sean in after work activities and treat him as an equal.  Sean came from the Chatham area where his step-dad worked and Sean had some experience working as custodial in a factory on modified duties and later in a marine shop.  Sean graduated from a special college program that provides life skills and specialized classes to students with special needs. When Sean lived in the country near Chatham, he would watch TV or listen to music and had little contact socializing with others due to the country setting.

“ I am convinced an angel, the Holy Spirit, all of the above was looking out for Sean ”

The camp director tells me that we need more people like Sean: he is on time for work every day, always completes all chores/tasks and he takes pride in the work he does in the kitchen and shows others how to use the industrial size dishwasher.  Sean never complains and he never asks for anything. 

I am truly grateful for the gift of Sean’s presence through the grace of God.  I am reminded to slow down, not to judge others, not to complain, and to see life as true gift from God.

Sean is a gift from God and during Advent and Christmas, I continue to reflect on Sean’s purpose in life and how and why he entered mine.

-Julie Angiolillo

The Transformative Energy of Black Lives Matter

As we experience the transformative energy of the Black Lives Matter movement sweeping around the world, it is a critical moment to reflect on unconscious bias and the racist assumptions which affect Black, Indigenous, and People of Colour communities in our own city and country.  It’s not an easy thing to do.  Our cultural tendency to view things through the lens of the individual blinds us to much of what’s going on in society, including systemic racism. It can also blind us to the graced potential for transformation which exists even within imperfect social actions such as protests marred by the violence of a few.  The challenge is to focus on and follow the graced energy for transformation which is working to bring about greater wholeness and justice. In that spirit, we revisit this short excerpt from a 2019 newsletter from the Federation Office for Systemic Justice.

Robin DiAngelo, who is white, wrote a book called White Fragility (2018). She insists that white people are all racist, and whites who think they’re not racist cause the most damage of all. DiAngelo explains “we are taught to think about racism only as discrete acts committed by individual people, rather than as a complex, interconnected system”.

The individual framing of the issue means we can focus on changing a few individuals who say or do hateful things. It means we don’t have to examine our own unconscious racist assumptions. It means society doesn’t have to change, just individual ‘bad’ persons.

In our society, whites have held, and continue to hold, nearly all the positions of social, political, and economic power. So, the pre-judgements (thoughts, feelings and assumptions into which we are socialized) which whites tend to hold about people of colour have become institutionalized; that is, white prejudice has shaped the structures and systems of our society.

DiAngelo points to a New York Times article from 2016 which illumines the degree to which white people still hold the seats of power. The article is based on the U.S. context but is relevant to Canada. Here are a few examples:

• Ten richest people - 100% white

• Highest-levels of politics – 90% white

• People who decide which television shows are available – 93% white

• People who decide which books are available – 90% white

• People who decide which news is covered – 85% white

• Teachers – 82% white

These statistics reveal “power and control by a racial group that is in the position to disseminate and protect its own self-image, worldview, and interests across the entire society”. Whiteness becomes the norm, while other races are ‘othered.’ The impacts can be devastating:

• Racialized people in Canada are significantly more likely to live in poverty. The 2016 Census showed that 20.8% of peoples of colour are low-income compared to 12.2% of non-racialized people.

• In 2015, there was a 69% high school graduation rate for Black students and 50% for Indigenous students, versus 84% for White students.

• People of colour living in Ontario have higher unemployment rates than White residents. Racialized men are 24% more likely to be unemployed than non-racialized men. Racialized women are 43% more likely to be unemployed than non-racialized men.

(https://colourofpoverty.ca/)

 -Sister Sue Wilson, csj

With the help of friends and the grace of God

I am seriously thinking about cancelling January 12.  Yes, every year from now on.  Why should February be the only month with a flexible number of days?  You may wonder what brought this on.  Well, let me explain.  Who would believe a quick trip to the library to pick up a book would end up in a trip to Emergency? That is exactly what happened to me on that fateful day, January 12, last year. I fell. No, not on the obvious place. Why fall on ice when you can trip over your own two feet in a public library?  What a place to fall.  In the public eye began the endless saga of a shattered wrist.

Fortunately, I was not alone.  My companion, as shocked as was I, drove me to Emergency in a nearby hospital. Nine hours, four x-rays, three casts, four attempts to set the bone later, the doctors were finally sufficiently satisfied to send me home.  My friend, who had stayed at my side throughout the night, drove me home at 3 am. What was to be a quick trip to the library to pick up a book ended up being a painful nine-hour stint.

At a follow up appointment, I met a wonderful orthopaedic doctor. By March, he decided my wrist had healed well enough to start physio therapy. During the next several months I was fortunate to see a very competent physio therapist at regular intervals. At home, I followed her regiment of daily exercises, and occasionally saw my doctor. However, by August it became evident that in order to regain greater mobility with less pain, I required surgery.

After what seemed like an endless wait, the long-awaited phone call came. On December 3, I was to have surgery which would hopefully result in increased mobility and no more pain. After the surgery, back for physio I went. Now, thanks to the skills of my wonderful doctor and therapist, I am no longer in pain! And what’s more, I have regained a considerable amount of mobility in my wrist. However, as you can imagine, daily exercises are still necessary to strengthen my emaciated muscles and further increase the mobility of my wrist.

You would think this is the end of my saga. Well, think again.  Would you believe, exactly a year later, in the evening of January 12, I find myself back in the same Emergency.  No, not after another fall.  Severe abdominal pain brought me there this time.  After several hours of probing and poking the problem was tentatively diagnosed, and I was sent home with antibiotics and pain pills. This time, recovery took only a few days and thankfully I needed neither surgery nor therapy. 

So, can you see why I am seriously thinking about cancelling January 12 next year?  No more visits to Emergency! No, thanks. Two years in a row is more than enough. So, what did I learn from all of this?  If nothing else, this past year has taught me to be a little bit more patient with myself and more aware of the kindness and generosity of those with whom I live.  Always, there was someone there to help this ‘one-armed bandit’ in one way or another. I also discovered how I, predominantly right-handed, could do so much, not only with just one hand, but with my left hand. During those long months, despite ongoing pain in my wrist, I lived life to the full, adjusting to what, for a while, became my ‘new reality’.  We never know what life throws at us, but I learned anew how, with the help of friends and the grace of God, seemingly insurmountable challenges can be overcome. What a valuable lesson to learn.

- Sister Loretta Hagen, csj