The UN Celebrates Friendship

I just found out that the United Nations has an International Day of Friendship. Honestly, at first, I was a bit surprised. With everything to deal with on the UN’s plate, why would they focus on something as simple as friendship? Why dedicate a whole day to it?

But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense.

Back in 2011, the UN General Assembly designated July 30th as International Friendship Day. Their rationale was that friendship, whether between individuals, communities, or even countries, can help bring peace, close divides, and encourage understanding. We can easily underestimate how powerful those small human connections are, especially when the news is so full of conflict and division.

The UN Charter itself highlights this agenda:

“To practice tolerance and live together in peace
with one another as good neighbours.”

These days, just talking about being good neighbors feels like a quiet act of protest against all the chaos out there. It is a reminder that peace isn’t only about big treaties or negotiations. It is about how we treat each other every day. It is those personal acts of kindness, openness, and empathy.

Kofi Annan, the former UN Secretary-General and Nobel Peace Prize winner, put it simply:

“We may have different religions, different languages,
different colored skin, but we all belong to one human race.”

“Friendship and love can cross all boundaries. They can survive every difference and division. That is how peace begins — with us reaching out beyond our walls.”

— Desmond Tutu

That really is at the heart of it. When we build friendships across differences, we start to understand each other better. We stop seeing people as “other” and start seeing them as fellow humans. Friendship most likely does not show up in official diplomatic documents, but it is often what makes real, lasting peace possible.

So now, when July 30th rolls around, I will think about International Friendship Day. It is not just a date on the calendar. It is an important reminder that every time we choose connection instead of division, compassion instead of indifference, we are quietly building peace.

Let’s be peacemakers every day. Honestly, that is exactly what the world needs more of right now.

-Sister Nancy Wales, csj

Image: 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič/Unsplash

Celebrating National Best Friends Day

BEST FRIENDS

Think back to your childhood – a time when for most, kindergarten paintings feature straight-lined skies of blue, grasses of green with vast amounts of space between filled with all manner of imaginings. Time and friendships seem eternal and so energizing that we feel we will always have that one BFF, best friend forever.  But something happens as we mature.  The horizon expands self-perception and our understanding of the world and community deepens.  Needs change as may the concept of friendship;  in fact, many do not survive the constant changes both friends inevitably undergo.

I have moved so often between cities and sometimes countries that friendships could have become superficial and transient merely as a self-protective measure against loss.  But a few have remained for a lifetime even though time and distance have separated us.  I often wonder about these particular friendships -- what makes them special compared to others that have been let go?    

My dear friend, Elizabeth, is one such person.  We met when we were eight or nine at a girls’ school in Scotland.  We couldn’t have been more different in personality or come from dissimilar backgrounds.  I was the wild Canadian from the colonies; she was the very proper Scottish young lady with a hint of nobility in the family’s background. Perhaps we opened each other’s eyes to a whole new way of seeing the world? Curiosity and non-judgmental awe at each other’s uniqueness and difference definitely formed the backbone of this friendship and continues to this day. 

When my family returned to Canada, Elizabeth and I made a solemn vow to remain friends and keep in touch forever – as do many children – but we took this ‘vow’ seriously. Over the years, we have seen each other in person perhaps seven or eight times but the friendship remains miraculously strong thanks to letter writing and telephone calls.  We have cried with each other through life’s trials far more than either of us cares to admit, offering each other support by actively listening not only to what is said, but also unsaid.  We have welcomed each other’s children into our hearts as if they were our own and accompanied each other on our spiritual journeys although they follow very different paths. I will never forget Elizabeth’s horror when I said how delighted I was to enter the crone years!  She interpreted crone as witch or hag and my delight in reaching this stage of life was incomprehensible to her.  When my dear mother died, Elizabeth flew to Canada and together in prayer and thanksgiving we created and conducted the very private burial service that was held for Mum. 

Like our mothers before us, we, too, now are aging and the ravages of time are insinuating their way into our relationship. Elizabeth is experiencing small hints of memory issues and I continue to experience the symptoms and side effects of a chronic disease.  It is unlikely that we will see each other in person again but the blessings of our friendship continue.  Little did we know but in making that childhood vow we had unconsciously invited Spirit into the relationship so that all that has followed is bathed in the holy water of Grace and Infinite Love.  Because of that, this beautiful Trinitarian relationship will continue whether on this earthly plane or the one to come.

Susan Jeffers wrote, “As we open our hearts to others, we begin to discover the truth of our own inner beauty, inner strength and inner light” and become at one with the God-Within-Us. Yet at the same time, we die to self to welcome in the other.  Through this humbling acceptance of each other, our lives have been richer and our worlds infinitely expanded beyond space and time.   “All is gift, my friend, a gift from our loving God” (Kathy Sherman, csj).

Susan Hendricks, Sisters of St Joseph Associate

Nazareth Community, Peterborough.

January Blues

Keeping in Touch

Image: Scott Ymker| Unsplash

Although the countryside might be covered in a blanket of fluffy white snow which can do a lot to lift our spirits, often mid-January days can feel long and gloomy.  On the horizon lies February, sometimes referred to as tunnel month because we think that we are under-ground and spring will never arrive.  We can feel alone and lonely, longing for friendship and support.  This is the moment to remember the importance of keeping in touch with our broader community.

We humans are social beings who thrive best in loving, nurturing families and support systems.  In fact, many animals live in community.  Horses and cattle live in herds, birds in flocks, whales in pods and fish in schools etc. They depend on each other for safety and survival.

On the human level, keeping in touch with each other is vital, especially during Canada’s long winters and recently imposed pandemic restrictions.  Think for a moment about the solace you receive from connecting with friends, family, and coworkers.  Ask any student what they miss about school and the reply is always the same, “I miss my friends”.

Image: Unsplash/Sixteen Miles Out

Keeping in touch doesn’t need to be arduous, it just means taking time to reach out to someone.  Sending a friend a short email, sometimes accompanied by a thoughtful or hilarious attachment. Have a brief phone chat with a neighbor. This can be more uplifting than a long, drawn-out conversation.  Try your hand at writing a note to a shut-in. Although it’s a disappearing art, we still know the thrill of finding a friendly letter in the mailbox.  A friend and I have sustained our friendship through 25 years of pen-and-paper communication.

Going for a walk with a loved one is uplifting; sharing lunch or afternoon tea, can keep the blues at bay. Today, renew your good intentions to keep in touch with others and watch the clouds disappear!

-Sister Jean Moylan, csj

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Title Image: Unsplash: benjamin lehman

Summertime

“Summertime and the livin’ is easy,”, croons Ella Fitzgerald from the 1934 opera, “Porgy and Bess”.  As July fades into August, this easy living is on my mind as holidays and the open road beckons me from the routine and tedium of everyday living.  As part of my personal summer renewal, I availed myself of the freedom and opportunity to visit family and friends after the long COVID siege.  Soon, I found myself packed and making my way north down the highways and byways to visit my sister and brother-in-law as well as planning a side trip to spend a little time with a dear friend.

My sister and brother-in-law’s home is always a haven of peace and serenity. We enjoyed tasty meals, relaxing days, and leisurely walks along the Saugeen River with its lush flora and fauna.  On our Saturday morning outing, we spied a magnificent blue heron with its long legs planted firmly in the shallow water, searching to surprise an unsuspecting fish.

On Saturday evening, stretched yoga-style on the living room floor, I felt on my back the silent, warm paws of gorgeous Sparky, the resident feline.  After a few steps, she stretched her purring self along the entire length of my back where she rested, and finally rolled to a waiting mat where she curled up and drifted off to sleep.  There, is a cat that knows how to relax.

Too soon, on Sunday afternoon I headed home after a wonderful summer visit. En route, I stopped to reconnect with a special friend from my teenage years. Linda and her husband Joe were waiting to greet me with open arms and a warm welcome.  What could be more refreshing than sitting under the shade of gracious maple trees sipping iced tea and eating oatmeal cookies? 

Soon their daughters arrived with children in tow to enjoy a swim in their beautiful backyard pool.  As we greeted each other and chatted, the young women were awed to realize that their mother and I had been friends for almost 60 years.  Even I was taken aback that six decades of caring and sharing had passed so quickly.

Driving home, I hummed a little ditty I had learned in elementary school: “Make new friends but keep the old; one is silver and the other is gold.”  As the sun set on my weekend excursion, I thanked God for peaceful summer spaces, the gift of family, and the treasure of faithful friends.

-Sister Jean Moylan, csj | Sister Jean has been a Sister of St. Joseph for 54 years.

““Make new friends but keep the old; one is silver and the other is gold.””

— old folk song

What I Learned From My Mother About Friendship

My mother became a widow at the age of sixty-five and died at the age of ninety-eight.

Widowhood was a life-changing event that closed some doors for her but opened others. No longer would she be relating with the couples that gathered for bridge games, bowling, partying . . . the things that couples enjoy doing as couples. The other doors that opened for my mother, she had to open herself and being an extrovert, she was energized by being with people.

Mother enjoyed yard sales and she new that if she wanted to yard-sale for a whole day or even a weekend she would call her widow friend who was always searching hither and yon for antiques, perhaps a pink glass salt shaker to match the pepper shaker she already owned and could sell for a profit as a pair. That woman knew her antiques. If mother only wanted to browse at yard sales for an afternoon she would call another friend and then she would look for such things as old beer steins to fill that empty shelf above her kitchen cupboards.

Now a widow, mother had lost her euchre, bridge, canasta partner but did not give up playing cards. She played bridge either in the afternoon or evening almost every day of the week and had different friends in different groups who kept honing their minds and mathematical skills. While they were all keen to play, they knew they were there to have fun.

Mom and dad used to take a holiday trip every year but it was always by car. So what was she to do now. Well mom had different friends she called on for different kinds of trips. One group of friends loved to take special tours and so she travelled to the rockies, to California, to our east coast, to England, to Portugal and celebrated her seventieth birthday in Hawaii. Another group of friends liked to pool their resources and spend money for a month’s accommodations in Florida where they could walk the beach in the afternoon and play bridge at night while it snowed at home.

Sundays were the loneliest days according to mom and so she had a friend or two that she would take for a ride just to see the fall colours or to go for a coffee and doughnut someplace quiet where they could share their week or update each other on family news.

And so what did I learn? I learned that when a woman has lost her best friend, her husband, life isn’t over; friendship isn’t over. No one will ever take the place of that love. But friendship is something one chooses to make happen. One can take the initiative and open the door to as many hearts as are willing to open to me for all sorts of occasions. Life is to be lived; in living fully we learn to love and to be loved.

Elaine Cole, CSJ